Wednesday, February 10, 2010

One Year!

A Year.... a whole year....twelve .. count them twelve full months!!! I did it! I WON!!! I BEAT IT!!! I used drugs but I did IT!!!...I slayed the dragon....I beat the monster....I QUIT SMOKING!!!!... WOooooooOOOooOooOOO HoOOOoOoooooo!!!!
I used Chantix...and for those who wonder YES I read the entire pamphlet the teeny tiny writing blurring practically every letter into an unrecognizable blur of side effects and cautions...

I was really disappointed I didn't have any of the good side effects....like acid trip hallucinations....no sexual side effects (damn it)...NOTHING good....I did however have one side effect...I don't know that i would consider it a bad one....It's just one....a side effect.... First of all I have to tell you....I have always been a dreamer...I don't mean a faraway look in my eyes deep sigh kind of dreamer I mean a go to sleep and wake up flying naked over a Led Zepplin concert dreamer...or I have this one dream where my Aunt Paula and i are in a mafia type setting and Bugsy Segal is shooting at us...He keeps saying come back Tink come back....we keep running through a night club and there are all kinds of performers on stage...at one point a lion leaps off an elephants back toward us and as it's teeth sink into my shoulder we are on a sailboat in the bay in Bermuda....the snap of the sail making me focus on the moment as dolphins jump over our heads into the deep blue green waters where a mermaid swims up from the depths and turns into a dragon that sends its fiery breath hurling through the tropical air to be caught in a freezing stream of icy coolness as the bright windy coolness of winter envelopes us into frozen cubes to be discovered years later...... ~whooooo...said that all in one breath...~

anyways...the side effect.... you know how the colors in CSI Miami are especially vivid??....My dreams are now vivid like CSI: MIAMI ...and i LOVE it!! Except for the dream with Aunt Paula...that's always black and white....it has to be....it wouldn't be right to have that mob scene in color....But anyways back to my point....
One year ago today i put down my cigarettes and didn't pick them up again!!! I'm proud of me!!! I feel so much better....my clothes don't stink...my car doesn't stink...my car!!!!...I can always tell when someone has just put one out....sometimes it makes me crave one really bad...but I haven't gone back.....I am, however, the one who keeps Trident in business..... gum....i have to have it on me at all times... when i am out i have been known to bite the heads off chocolate rabbits...I swore i wouldn't be a hypocrite if I ever quit but I have to say I really like the smoke free me...it is alot better then the smelly cigarette me.....